Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Breathe with me.

So I haven't posted in a while. I think it's a mix of being busy and lacking the motivation to write, which is very rare for me. Usually I find that I can write something down and it fits what I want to say or what I'm feeling. I even take pride in my writing every now and again. But lately, I would write something and not feel it was well-written enough to post.
Maybe it didn't flow enough.
Maybe I just didn't like what I said.
Maybe it lacked the charisma I want my writings to possess; the heart.
I want people to feel something when I write, because I actually enjoy writing most of the time.

So connect with me.
Make a touch point with me.
Put down the phone, unless you're out and about and that's how you're reading this (something I'm on quite often, I'll admit). Shut off the million other windows on your internet browser. Tune out the busy traffic and chaotic thoughts

and sit with me.

Hi. Can you hear me now?
The world gets pretty crazy, doesn't it?
It's nice to have just a minute to yourself, isn't it?
Breathe with me.
That was nice.
I don't know about you, but I feel like life is passing me by really quickly right now. It's like I'm pulled over on the highway and I'm watching the cars whiz by me. The car rumbles from the speeding vehicles, and it's scary to try and even think of pulling out at the rate the cars are coming and how fast they're speeding.

Can you believe it's Thanksgiving already? That 2013 is a month or so away from this very moment?
I can't.
Life... it's happening so fast. It's not that I'm unprepared to stuff myself with turkey, potatoes, and chocolate pie, it's just almost surreal to think that this upcoming year is full of complete shifts in direction. That an entire year is about to be behind me. I'm sorry, behind us. That has to be weird for you to think about as well.

Can I talk to you for a second? Just you and me?
I'm kind of scared.
I mean, if I had the option to hide in a really comfortable corner, I might not pass it up.
2013 is going to be a year of big change in my life, personally. I need to figure some things out. I find myself wandering aimlessly these past few weeks. I'm wondering where I'm going and how I'll get there. I called it getting back to "real life" today.
This is a pretty human thing to do.
To wonder, I mean. To try and figure everything out. I think fear probably fits in that category.
I've always had an uncomfortable struggle with change, but life change is especially horrifying.
I guess I should think of it as an adventure. That seems like it would be more enjoyable.

Over the past few years I've mentioned adventures to you: the adventure of life, the adventure of moving, the adventure of capturing each moment, or even finding adventures. I invited you on each of these adventures with me,
so I don't see why this adventure should be any different.
I think adventures mean so much more when people come with you, especially people you care about.
I'd like to think that I care about you.
So would you come with me? I need all the backing I can get.
As the holidays roll around, and as my chaotic brain kicks into hyperdrive, would you mind praying for me and sticking with me? I think you'd be the coolest.

And I'll keep you updated, don't worry.
I already know what most of you are thinking: "You have so many options", "You can go so many places", and "God will show you what to do", "Don't worry about it, you have your whole life ahead of you", and my personal favorite, "You don't know to know right now." I even have gotten many "That's ok" responses to my lack of direction, which I appreciate.
I think I just needed a moment to write it out and digest it, even admit that it's been on my mind.

I'm really glad I shared this moment with you, and that we got to cut out the world for a few brief seconds. Things get pretty overwhelming sometimes, don't they? Maybe we should try and make this a regular thing. I wouldn't mind it.

Amidst all of the chaos, the plans, the busyness, the hectic decisions, the stress, the problems that loom over your head and even your lack of direction, (because I figure there are some people out there like me), I'll remind you of something that I'm trying to remind myself of:

He's here. 
In this moment. 
Don't pass up noticing the presence of God exactly where you are, because He IS there. 

Right next to you.
Right next to me.
He's not taking off or booking it.
He hasn't moved.
There He is.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalm 23:2
I can sense His presence in the middle of overwhelming emotion and thought.
I can feel Him nudge me, and try to focus my mind on this important thing.
Have you even sat still recently long enough to notice that He's around?
If not, I'll pass you off to Him. You two should talk. He misses you.
And there it is: calm. Maybe not inside, because you two need to talk about some things,
But is it just me, or did the world around me all of the sudden get a lot quieter?
Did the weight on my shoulders slowly lift?
Did my room quickly grow still?

He says, 
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 
Psalm 46:10