Sunday, December 26, 2010


Fighting back and having conflict at all usually just isn't worth it to me (Even though in some cases it probably should be). Instead, I'll let you do what you want to do, say what you want to say, and keep what you have stolen from me and I'll run to my secret place. 
I wish I was at the beach right this very second.
Why the beach?
There is never a moment when I am at the beach where I can deny that there is a God. 
(if you can I think that takes more effort)
It's like a breath of fresh air.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Officially Declared

So this December seems to be passing me by faster then any I can remember. It's already the 12th? When did all that happen? This week finals begins and then on the 21st I'm flying home. I'm really excited for this semester to be over with and for break to be here so some serious relaxing can occur.
I have my schedule for next semester and it's a doozy to even look at. I'm taking on 19 credits.  I keep reminding myself that that's not set in stone. I can always change it or drop a class next semester if things get to out of hand.
On a pretty nifty note, I declared my major for my BA altogether! This is a big deal! I finally know what I'm doing with my college stuff for now :) It feels awesome.
Currently I'm sitting in my overheated room with the fan on, typing away and eating Candy Cane Hershey's Kisses (who knew such a wonderful invention existed?). Kayla is sprawled upon my floor out cold. She spent most of the weekend in here and slept over last night as well, so my room is very cozy with blankets and pillows on the floor (I love it). It's raining outside and the chilly weather has definitely hit (it was 12 degrees at some point last week). I'm about to embark on another finals or homework related task and I can't help thinking: How lucky am I?
This is my life. Thank you, Jesus. 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Good Night

A good night conversation with my Daddy- the King of Kings, Master, Ruler, Giver, Friend, Commander, and Lover of my Soul:
"Hi Daddy. I love you. I wonder sometimes how you bear to love me. I mess up and I fail a lot," I whisper quietly.
"I love you, Child," I hear Him say.
"I love You too. Can I rest?"I ask shyly, looking down with my cheeks getting red.
And He nods. I climb up onto my Father's lap and lay my head on His shoulder. His arms engulf me and I smile to myself.
"I love talking to you like this. I wish I could just stay here all the time," I say in a content tone.
God smiles as I breathe deeply and I feel His smile over me.
"I love You," I say, almost drifting off to sleep.
"I love you more then you will ever know- More than you know now, more than you will ever know in the future and more than you have ever realized," He says back to me. I take a moment and let that sink in. I have my own personal "Selah" times with God every now and again. "More than you will ever know" He says to me again.
"It's supposed to snow tomorrow," I say in a silly tone and then I laugh. I'm not ashamed of what I say because God knows who I am and He fully understands me. In fact, He appreciates my qualities and openness to be who I am with Him. He made me this way, after all.
I go on to tell Him about what's on my mind. My thoughts - everything from the weather to how I'm feeling and I end with a very serious thought that He doesn't respond to.
And God doesn't have to answer. Sometimes He just lets me talk. Sometimes all I feel and know with such certainty is that He's listening. And sometimes... that's all I needed to know in the first place.

Goodnight world.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Real Talk

I guess it is when you fully put aside yourself (your wants, needs, satisfactions, desires) and put someone else in front of you (that maybe doesn't deserve it, need it, or even has significantly done damage) that you understand the real meaning of what it is to love.
What you do with it all, of course, is the big wisdom factor. But how you react ...