Saturday, August 16, 2014

I moved to Australia.

For those of you who don't know, I now reside in the country of Australia. This is kind of a crazy thing to even type out. For some reason I was really against making it public but now that it's more or less out there - hello from Australia. I guess I didn't want to be that person, you know? The one who blasts it everywhere. Maybe social media is just getting to me. I'll stop while I'm ahead.

Hello from Australia!
Yes, there are kangaroos and koalas here. No, everyone does not say "G'day mate" instead of "hello." Yes, I'm not far from the Sydney Opera House. No, I don't eat Vegimite everyday. I think that covers some of my basics for now.

Can I be honest and say this isn't at all what I thought it would be? And to be even more clear, I had absolutely 100% no expectations for coming here? Haha. Are you as confused as I am!?
Good. Maybe that will help you understand. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here, I'm just being obedient. I guess it can make sense to trust God when things are good, and even when things are evidently bad, but I'm learning it's hard to trust God when there's no explanation for something He's told you to do.

I'll walk you through it.
God: Go to Hillsong's school in Australia.
Me: Why?
God: Just go.
Me: (long pause...ok a few years later) Ok.

That's pretty much all I got.
I left my multiple jobs, workaholic lifestyle, and active church life to come out to Australia and go back to school at Hillsong. This really doesn't make sense to me. Like, really really.
But God's made it clear I'm supposed to be here, in more ways than one. So where does that leave me?
Learning to trust when I have no explanation or reasoning, in a different country way farther away than I've ever been for such a long a period of time, away from anything or anyone familiar, with a completely different environment.
In my head it sounded like an adventure, and due to my lack of expectation, I didn't anticipate the challenges and stress that would come with finally saying "yes." Maybe adventure doesn't mean easy.

But I'm here. I made it. I'm on the other side of the world. It happened, and I have no idea why.
So I'll wait.
I felt like I was waiting for years to just make the decision to come here, and then it felt like I was waiting forever to get here. Now that I'm here, I have to wait again?
There must be something in this waiting thing, huh?
I'll just be here. Waiting. Whenever He thinks I'm ready to hear it, He'll let me hear. I've come to find that His timing isn't usually mine, and after a while I realize that it's for the better.
I have a lot of thoughts, a lot of questions, and a lot of stress about this whole thing, but I'm growing to learn to trust anyway in the midst of it. I'll be present. I'll soak in as much as I can. I'll just be here, because that's all I know to do right now. My leap of faith didn't have to make sense to anyone, including me. Plod on, plod on, plod on.

So I wait.