Monday, November 7, 2011


Today? Today I am grateful to be alive.
I feel like during this season many people are falling apart. Those "many people" used to be me. I remember a year ago today and see a stark difference in my life now, and I think to myself, what happened?
What's so different? What changed?
I am literally facing midterm after midterm, assignment after assignment, and paper after paper with barely a flinch. I can feel the stress in my back, but not in my heart or mind. I feel slightly overwhelmed, but not to the point where it's hard to work. All I can say is thank you, Jesus.
Thank you so much, God.
When I used to be screaming in the face of fear and stress, instead I am full of joy and laughter.
When I used to keep myself up to every hour of the night, instead I am cozied up after a good night talk with You.
Instead of being busy as a foundation, I have found worship and prayer have taken their place.
You have rearranged my priorities. You have transformed my habits.
This is not the same Tabatha that walked onto this campus last year at all, and I know it's from You.
Words aren't enough, and if they could be there are not enough of them to possibly contain how much I am learning and growing simply by being with You. I am still wrestling, and I still have troubles, but I'm allowing them to soften me instead of harden me.
I am completely in love with Your presence, God. It's enrapturing. It's honoring to be in. I am learning so much not only from You, but more then ever from Your presence. Once I notice it, tears come to my eyes almost immediately.
What changed, Lord? What happened? I'm not sure, but I want to say thank you.
Thank you, so much.
I remember one year ago this time wondering if anything would ever be better. Wondering if anything would change. Wondering if I would ever feel better. And now it makes sense.
Life is made up of seasons, and I am entering a new one.
Time to put on my running shoes, throw open the door, and embrace running it for all it's worth because I know that seasons don't last forever, and when they're gone they're only memories.

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