I have a pattern with change, both negative and positive. In terms of the negative, it has to do with my first instinct, which is: RUN.
Any chaotic or problematic scenario in general that occurs in my week, day, hour, I find myself wanting an escape more than anything. So what do you do when you're thousands of miles away from intensity and you still feel like you need to run?
I think that instinct is just a want to get away from something that is inevitable.
In terms of the positive: with so many changes I've had to grow in, I've also grown accustomed to what I need during these times of change. Country hopping, college hopping, you-name-it-hopping are all things that I've done in my later teenage years (isn't it crazy that I'm no longer a teenager?).
What I need in times of change is rest.
What I long for in moments of chaos is understanding and peace.
I need a small, quiet place where my thoughts can sort themselves out and I can begin to understand what is happening. I can let it hit me.
I am the excellent suppressor, so this is necessary. Suppression is a hard-earned art form that I've come to more or less conquer, but when the going gets tough it tends to wear you down instead of help you move on.
So, with all that being said, what do I need to do next? Rest.
Where do I find that rest? That peace?
Well, where do you think?
"I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
he saved me from all my troubles. . .
Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
but those who trust in the LORD will lack no good thing."
Check out Psalm 34