Tuesday, May 15, 2012

He makes all things new. That includes me.

You know what makes bad days better? Owl City releasing a new EP. It doesn't even necessarily mean that I think this is his best work or anything, his music is just happy. There are lot of things about today that made me sad. When the two met in the middle, I got pulled up. New music is like a breath of fresh air: a new mindset, a new start. It made me so happy in contrast to everything else that had happened.

I guess the decision has been made that I'm moving on. For real?
And if there was any ever doubt that I had the greatest people in my life, it's gone. I've decided to take up all these people on their offers to help me out. What a thought! It humbles me so much. I'm so fortunate to have all these people here for me. In this crazy, upside-down reality that I'm currently living in, it's nice to know that people have my back.

I could vent, and rage, but that's never really been my thing. I'm the suppressor, right? Well, I don't think I'm suppressing this time. This time, I'm breathing it in. I'm letting it happen, and after all of it is over I can't wait to see where I'll be. I'm not even necessarily anxious to get through it all (disregarding the whole pain aspect of it all, of course). I just wish I had all my dear east coasters with me for the process (Can my twin just get here already?!). It's practically the only downside to being here. Thank God for technology, right?

One of the most comforting thoughts to exist in the entire world is: I'm not alone.
I, Tabatha Beiser, am not alone.
I felt it so clearly today, even through all the stinging and numbness.
Hey, you reading this. You're not alone either. If I can do this, you can too. Don't give up.
Don't turn back, either.
I can't even imagine what is in my future, but I know that it's gotta be pretty great if I have to go through this right now. Someone told me today I must be doing something right or there wouldn't be this many cannons coming my way. You can still be doing the right thing and have your life be tumbled.

I put this on repeat during my 4 mile ralk (walk/run) today:
You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things out of us.
You make me new
You are making me new.

I believe it. He makes all things new. That includes me.
I'm going to make it.

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