Wednesday, September 8, 2010

At all

I may not
have all the right words to say
feelings to express,
hopes to give
or passions that are meant to last.
I may not.
I don't always understand
or gaze
or think
or praise.
I don't.
I'm not
who I know I could be,
know I could see,
know I could think,
know how to be me in general.
I'm not.
Sometimes I try too hard
to be something that
maybe isn't me at all.

And yet
I may be on my way to understanding
where I'm going.
I may be.
I just might perceive things in my mind for a reason
without sense.
I just might.
I am
finding my way and
choosing my paths
fighting for my dreams
and holding nothing back.
I am.
Always I try
doing what I can
to make them happy
to keep them away
and to try to remember
at all.
If I'm there.

There are two sides (and more than that)
to who I am.
There are parts of me
and sections even smaller
of who I am striving for,
who I see I can be.
There are opportunities
that present themselves
to be :
and there.
I try to take them.
There's a lot you don't know
about my inside
how my brain works
how my heart manages
how my feelings remain intact at all.
How my eyes see
how my ears hear
how my mouth speaks
what it manages to get out
at all.

But I'm striving
and growing,
and living.
I'm doing my very best
to live.
To ask.
to make sure when I look back
I see Him there with me
at all.
Because I want to see that
He never let me go.

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